I was sitting there just the other day when I tried to remember when it was I last updated the site. Good grief.

So lets start with the fact that all is well, some of the crew have flown the nest so in theory there should be more space - in theory.

We haven't done a major cruise for some years bur we have had a couple of 3 or 4 day trips just so that we remember what it is all about.

As far as the boat itself goes we have been living in 'interesting' times, so here in something approaching the order these things happened is the story so far.

Water, water, everywhere and not a drop to drink

A long time ago the original water pump that supplies the domestic water failed in as much as it started leaking, leading to an unintentionally washed bedroom carpet. Unable to get at the time a same size pump and being somewhat desperate we opted for the next size down and by way of a back up ordered a re-furb kit for the old one. Well, the 'new' pump gave up the ghost. To be fair it did give us plenty of warning, taking longer and longer for the pressure switch to cut in until there were times when the water flow all but stopped before the pump decided to come and play.

I had a go at re-installing the old, now refurbished heavy duty pump but for some reason it just wouldn't fit properly, and then when I did finally bodge it into place, and bodge really was the word, it didn't work at all.

Out with that one then, adjust the pressure switch on the new one and back in it went. Problem was I had inadvertently set the pressure too high for the piping and got a panic laden phone call from the dearly beloved saying there had been an almighty bang, then the water pump started but wouldn't stop, oh and by the way there was water all over the kitchen floor.

Turns out that one of the joints in the pipe under the kitchen sink had blown apart, but when the pump was switched off and the pressure dropped it re-seated itself. Hence it took me 3 'bang and bugger' cycles to find out exactly which joint it was. Reduced the pressure and all was well for a few days until inevitably  it finally gave up the ghost when the youngest crew member was in the shower, covered as you may have guessed in shower gel bubbles.

Out with the new pump, take the old one to pieces and find a corroded thermal switch which was duly cleaned. Installed (read bodged) it into place, still puzzled by why it wouldn't fit then switched on, only to hear lots of bubbles in the water tank but no water at the taps. The reason I'd had to bodge it in was that when I'd fitted the re-furb kit I forgot to note which way on the body went. Given a choice of two I had of course got it wrong so the pump was trying to suck through the taps and blow into the water tank. Out with the pump once more, rotate pump body, reinstall - the world is right once more.

Order a new pressure switch for the 'new' pump, install switch, check for function then save for later.

Out of Gears

Went to drive the boat a while back on one of our poo cruises and the selector worked but the gearbox didn't, then did. Worked all the way back to the marina right until the moment I needed a burst of reverse, then forward to get us into the space. Reverse worked - then no forward and we started drifting sedately sideways down the length of the marina. A few quick, panic laden 'Try agains' later and finally we get forward and into the berth.

Checked the oil level in the gearbox - well actually a better and more accurate statement would be "Tried to check the oil in the gearbox" - obviously there is a fault with our dipstick - it clearly isn't long enough as the oil doesn't reach it. Had a look down the hole and could see all the way to the bottom.

No obvious sign of a major leak, though to be fair there has been oil in the engine bilge (as opposed to the boat bilge) ever since we've had it and I've always assumed it to be the collected yuk from the breather pipe. So fill up the gear box, 3 weeks later check it an it is still OK. Then we go for a poo cruise and by the time we've got to the marina entrance there is an obvious streak of oil across both sides of the bilge cooling tanks. Do pump out, go to turn around - no gears. Add over 1/2 gallon of oil to gearbox, limp home. Bilge now guaranteed never to go rusty on account of having all the gear box oil in it. Not good.

It took me another week to drag up the courage to look at taking the gear box out. As I started the task I disconnected one of the two oil pipes that run between gear box and the keel cooling system. It is oily. It shouldn't be. If oil is leaking out of the gear box how did it get UPHILL ? Look at the problem carefully and work out that if this pipe leaked it could produce all of the symptoms we have. Remove pipe entirely and notice the elbow connection easily swivels - it shouldn't.

Go to a pipe specialist and get a new pipe made up. I'm told the gearbox works at up to 300 psi so advise the pipe people what it is for and what pressures it works at as well as what kind of temperature. Return resplendent with new hose and fit it. Turn in engine only to be greeted by other oil pipe spurting a jet of oil in a fashion that can best be described as "German porn film".

Go and get second oil pipe made up, at which point much fuss is made over us as the man who made the pipe up crimped it to 1mm less than he should have done for the pipe size used - under no circumstance are we to use it until he has re-swaged it. Tell him it is too late but we'll bring it back for him to do. Re-fit second pipe and all seems well. Take second pipe back and have it re-swaged, then re-fit.

Test at marina by running in forward and reverse for 5 minutes each and all is looking good. All we have to do now is get rid of all that oil which we achieve with a drill pump into some buckets. Oil goes to oil recycling bin, water to some scrub land. Final tidying done with a pack of Asda cheap nappies that soak up the remaining oil and water a treat and at £5 for 42 are massively cheaper than oil pads.

Tentatively go for a poo cruise and Ye-haaaa ! all is well.

Oh Poo

Somewhere in between all of this Ollie, our much loved poo monster does his best but just can't empty the bowl. Despite all of our 'normal' techniques he refuses to play. Out comes Ollie, onto the jetty where I remove something like 1/4 inch of solid limescale from inside his little pipes. This however didn't cure the problem and eventually we have to 'rod' the pipe that leads into the holding tank.

Ollie restored to his kingdom, now much happier without all that limescale and one more all is well.

They don't show you this on TV do they ?