On December 24th the paperwork finally went through and she's ours.

We always knew that Tywyn wasn't going to stay Tywyn once she was ours, numerous names passed through the little grey areas that count as brains here but finally we settled on 'Wych Way'. First it reflects my Pagan leanings, secondly it reflects that nice uncertainty about a boaters destiny and lastly there's a very nice brewery called Wychwood who make exceptionally nice beer and have a brilliant 'witch flying on a broomstick' logo we like the look of.  Got in touch with those nice people at the Wychwood brewery and asked for permission to use their logo for our cabin side art and got an even nicer e-mail back saying that 'Permission was granted by the order of the Grand Hob Goblin'. So 'Wych Way' she now is. Re-sign writing and a minor paint job set for 2005.

"Are you warm enough ?" is now, officially (in my eyes at least) the most annoying question on the planet. Mention to people that you live on a boat and that's what you get first.

Being a kind and gentle soul, gifted in the art of quick fire bullshit I now  answer thus. . . .

"Oh yes, the central heating is good, we have a diesel boiler that feeds the radiators...... next week we're thinking about having a toilet fitted on account of it's getting a bit annoying having to &%£* and ^%&^ in the same bucket as everyone else, and there's always an argument about who's going to throw it over the side. Throwing it isn't a problem once you remember to check which way the wind is blowing, that and opening the window first of course. Then you have to remember to get the fresh water out of the canal before you throw the other bucket out otherwise you need a sieve to get all the little bits out, mind you it's not so bad if you fill the bucket on one side and empty it over the other." The listener's face is a delight to behold!

Yes, we have central heating, running water (both hot and cold), a shower, a small bath, electric light, 3 different mains supplies (shore line hook up, our big gen set and the inverter), our own gas system, a fridge complete with little freezer, a microwave and a working oven. I'm given to understand that we even have wardrobes, drawers and a few beds too.

Alas, what we also have is condensation, lots of it.  A couple of weeks summer hire does not pose this problem, but put five bodies on board permanently, cook and wash things and it's surprising how much damp accumulates! A quick check with the other residentials reveals that the majority of them uses a de-humidifier through the winter months. So are we now.

Another little problem we have is time. Up until now I was aware of the world's time zones, caused you understand by rotation of Earth about Sun (according to current theory anyhow). I have since discovered that there are in fact 25 time zones, the 24 that the world is used to plus the 'Boat Zone'. If it was just an odd hour here or there it wouldn't be so bad, but in the boat zone whole days wander about of their own accord and decide to arrive when they feel like it. Maybe it's the lulling sensation of being within sight and sound of water, maybe it's the peace and tranquillity of being in a rural environment. Phrases like "what time is it ?" have been replaced with "What day is it ?" Shop keepers look at you in a puzzled way, doubtless used to folk asking for the date, but not the day! I'd like you to note how careful I was to refer to this difference as the 'Boat Zone' rather than the possibly more user friendly 'canal time'. This is due to the phrase 'CanalTime' already being in use, leading us neatly on to  . . . . .

CanalTime users, who continue to provide us with endless hours of fun. As  a rule I'm not into generalisations (I think that's an oxymoron) but you know what I mean. I make an exception for CanalTime, that happy bunch of folk who are seemingly dropped onto a narrowboat, often with absolutely no idea of how it or the system works, nor what they have just let themselves (or every other canal and river user) in for.

I have no doubt at all that most of these people, if you met them in the street would appear normal, probably be polite and almost certainly be nothing to look out for. As the oft-quoted instruction for occupying small children says "For instant fun, just add water". Take these people, add a boat . . . so far so good. Now add the water and hey presto ! instant amusement for all the boating community. Last few days (Christmas / New Year) we've seen a merry little parade of them going past our marina, sometimes alone, sometimes hunting, sorry, travelling together in groups of up to four boats. I've been boating on the canals for some 20 years or so now. I've seen boats hung up on ropes; people drive into lock gates because "Surely they have a sensor on them that opens it automatically for you"; boats caught on lock cills despite every lock having their presence marked (and every hire boat handover warns you about it); boats coming adrift after mooring pins were just pushed in a few inches, in fact I've seen quite a lot.

I say "Quite a lot" 'cos you haven't seen anything until you've sat at a lock side and watched the antics of a CanalTime crew. Trust me, look up one of their bases, choose a lock a few either up or down from the base, take a camera and a picnic and away you go. A complete days entertainment "Just add water".

I wonder what level of instruction these poor people are given when they take over a boat. I'm inclined to believe that it may be none at all which is a terrible shame. If boating is to thrive and survive we need a steady influx of people willing to part with their money (like I did for 20 or so years of hiring) to finance it all and in my view every time these poor souls are let out on their own and have a bad experience we are loosing a lot of future waterways funding. So in the mean time the crew of the good boat Wych Way go out of our way to offer a hand if they want it.